Another year, another lesson learnt (hopefully). I reflect every January on my new year rituals, and like to think I wise up each time around. Perhaps…
New Year rituals – 2018 pondering
Welcome to the new year! Old habits die hard, right? For this month we’ll still write the date as ‘2017’, analyse our horoscope (even if we don’t believe), and determine that this is the year of less gin and more gym. Yes absolutely, (tomorrow)!
Many of us also repeat a new year ritual and I’ve come to relish in mine. After a run of January 1sts where I was left feeling more than a little let down and empty, I realised that the act of having refresh routine was what might save me.
Signs – what signs?
For a bit of light relief, the first thing I seek is signs it will be a year of promise. I’m delighted to discover that it’s the Chinese year of the dog. Anything to do with dogs is good by me!
I know nothing of numerology, yet I find myself dabbling with numbers: 2+0+1+8 – an eleven year, which breaks down to one plus one equalling two, marking the ‘beginning of a new direction’, so my online research explains.
Numbers and signs lift my spirits, but we know nothing happens without action and intention. So, after I’ve had my fun looking at what’s in the stars, my personal ritual gets old-school as I turn off the computer and turn back to pen and paper.
The important part of a new year ritual: write it down!
As far as I’m concerned, the power of writing things down is not to be underestimated. A few years ago, we went on a winter trip abroad and I used a long-haul flight home to Queensland to have a think about what I’d like to come out of the year ahead.
I peeled open my shiny new diary for the year – clean pages representing the chance at an organised, fresh start. In an appropriate space up the front, I wrote a list of things I hoped for. I didn’t have any real method in mind, I simply noted my desires.
We landed back in Australia and I went about filling my diary with events, tasks and to-do lists, enjoying the delicious satisfaction of crossing items off, marking as ‘done’. At some point later in the year, I went fishing around in the front of the book looking for a note I had paper-clipped inside, and I spotted the list I’d made on the plane.
Amazed, I realised that many things I’d written down (but had forgotten about) had come true. I felt like I’d experienced a little bit of magic in that discovery!
How do you want to feel?
Since then, I’ve been more conscious about my new year ‘write it down’ ritual, and I’ve tweaked it to make it as powerful as possible. I try not to be too prescriptive in terms of detail. Instead, I write down how I want to feel. This bit has become important to me. I have discovered that what I (think I) want, or what is for the greatest good, might not come in the exact package I imagine.
Some of my list includes, ‘I want to feel valued and respected at work’, ‘I want to feel inspired by the creative people who surround me’, ‘I want to feel fit and healthy’. Coming at the new year with this attitude – imagining it, and repeating these mantras – helps me detach from specific outcomes, and inevitably brings me a wealth of opportunities better than I could have dreamed of.
My new year ritual closes with two important acts: giving thanks, and letting go.
Gratitude to my people, lessons, loves and experiences that make and break. And, dropping (as hard as this can be) toxic grudges and situations that simply do not serve me.
Desires, dogs and new directions – feels good to me. What’s on the cards for you this month? We’d love to hear about your refresh rituals. Do drop us a line with your own words of wisdom, on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Happy New Year!
First published in the January 2018 issue of Get it Magazine - read it at getit-magazine.com.au
I now have loads of law of attraction success stories, which I feel fortunate about. But there was a time when this was all new. Recently, I experienced a really really terrible week. That was followed by several weeks prior that weren’t much better.
Appreciating the journey: my law of attraction success stories
I’d been faced with countless deadlines and challenging situations in all of life’s fundamental areas. Top it off with a seriously ill loved-one and me feeling generally unsupported. I hit one of those awful places in time where I was finding it difficult to get up in the morning. Inevitably something had to give, and it’s where one of my big law of attraction success stories begins.
I was stuck on where to start and how to ask for help to see things differently.
My mood matched that of the now-wintry grey English skies.
As one to usually be able to drag myself out of feeling miserable, I found myself in a place where I didn’t know what to do next. I was depressed, teary and withdrawn.
I waited for the clock to tick down at work each day. I felt utterly awful, and even more down because usually I’m happy there. I enjoy my days and make a point of trying to make someone else’s day a bit brighter too.
Ironically, someone I turn to for genuine and useful advice was also having a terrible week. While I appreciated the odd bit of sympathy gained here and there, I basically felt really alone.
Getting out of a hard place
Seems to be the way when down times hit. I’m sure you know the feeling well – we’ve all been to this place.
There’s a difference between feeling a bit down and being depressed, and my mind wasn’t in a great place. I was depressed.
Thanks to the tools I now carry with me though – those law of attraction success stories – I knew it was up to me to crawl out of it, no matter how hopeless I felt.
Engaging with the law of attraction: small changes
I still insisted on hiding under my warm quilt covers instead of going to the gym in the mornings. But despite feeling like I was easily set-off at every tiny little thing that could be perceived to be going wrong each day, during my morning commute I endeavoured to try to lift my own spirits.
Friends know I’m a huge fan of author and speaker, Gabrielle Bernstein, and her new book, The Universe Has Your Back, had been sitting on my Kindle for a few weeks.
I felt like it might be time to open it up.
On the bus each morning, I read just a few pages at a time, absorbing one small idea a day and taking it with me into work.
The one thing that struck me in the opening pages of the book was Gabrielle’s discussion about how we are the dreamers of our dream; we are responsible for what we see.
I knew that I was feeling sad and disappointed, and that there were reasons which had led me to that place. I have learnt that it’s ok to feel down about things sometimes, for a little while.
But, I knew the way I was feeling was not how I wanted to continue feeling. I didn’t want to be taking it with me everywhere and I sure as hell didn’t want to be projecting it into the world. I’m well aware that what I put out will come back in larger doses.
I wasn’t even sure where or how to ask for help and didn’t have any idea how I’d be able to shift what I was seeing in front of me.
I highlighted in Gabby’s book:
“You don’t have to be a world leader to have a radical shift in perception. Sometimes it can be as simple as choosing to perceive your job with more gratitude or your family with more love.”
I practised this in my head and in writing, and it helped a bit.
I knew if nothing else, just trying would raise my energy (and therefore what I was attracting) just a notch.
How to ask for help and to see things differently
I was still in a horrible place and this didn’t help me move through to anywhere significantly better. I felt particularly low that I was lost and without an idea of what to do moving forward.
Which is why this next part of Gabby’s law of attraction success stories and advice was very helpful and as always, timely. It’s why I feel compelled to write a few words about it.
You see, I’ve realised in recent years that we don’t have to have the answers all the time. We don’t necessarily need to worry about figuring out what to do. (This coming from someone who feels very uneasy without a plan!)
All we need to do is ask for help.
“I need help. I want to see things differently.”
I am completely aware of this strategy but typical of being in a hopeless funk, we often forget to follow the advice we give to others.
I’ve used this strategy previously when I’ve been at the end of my options (or seemingly so). I’ve called on my law of attraction success stories and experience when I have wanted to make a difference to loved ones having a hard time.
I stop and ask for help – a miracle even. And, I must say, I’ve seen it work each time.
The part about seeking a different perspective is reasonably new to me – or at least, specifically seeking a new perspective as a strategy is novel.
But how would it work?
I wasn’t sure, but it seemed straightforward and something that I could call on even when I was feeling hopeless.
I went about making this my daily mantra – asking to see things differently.
I fumbled my way through the week still feeling like a right old miserable mess, and half feeling like my crazy self-help strategies were failing me.
But being the believer that I am, I persisted.
“Help me see things differently”.
And then it happened, out of literally nowhere, some news that changed the way I would view a scenario that was getting me down the most.
Something that had felt hugely disappointing turned out to be hopeful.
Then the next day, additional information came my way that lifted a veil of uncertainty over another upsetting situation that I’ve been holding space for.
I’d asked to see things differently. I had no idea how any of it would go, after all, that’s part of the reason I was feeling so depressed – I couldn’t see my way out of problems I was perceiving.
I kept asking to see things differently. Low and behold, that’s what happened in a relatively short amount of time from when I started asking for help!
Apparently the universe does have my back, and I’m glad to have had the chance to witness it.
Make changes
Want more practical law of attraction exercises and advice? Read more here about how to implement gratitude, manifest money and dream analysis to make shifts in your reality.
Do you have any law of attraction success stories to share that might help someone else? Or did this piece help you? Let me know in the comments.
Have you ever considered what your “default emotion” is? I’d not heard the term before, nor had I even placed any thought on the matter, until I came across an interview with Nisha Moodley, a women’s leadership coach. She says we each have default emotions − some people get sad easily, or angry or confused; often this is a way of escaping the discomfort of what we are facing, whether it be a conflict, fear of change or moving forward.
We’re all up to big things these days. We have big ideas on what we want to create for our families, businesses and lives. While I believe anything is possible, that large void of potential can be scary at times.
Those who know me understand I’m often doing crazy things, making wild manoeuvres away from my perfectly-fine comfort zone. I do wish I could sit still, but my mind − like yours − conjures big things, and I find myself making significant changes every few years in an attempt to pursue these ideas, hopes and dreams. Those of you who don’t know me personally have probably worked this out about me though, based on what I write and blog about.
I mention it, not to advocate making wild changes, nor to preach that change can be positive. I bring it up, because I know first-hand that while change more often than not leads to something amazing, it can be tough. Whether it’s self-imposed or change that has been thrust upon you, it requires time, perseverance and sometimes, a lot of deep breaths to move through, until you get to that place where you realise you’ve made it, and you smile.
So, “default emotions”. They usually run rampant when we’re in a period of flux. Mine were at play recently when things were spinning around; change and choices flying at me swiftly. I could feel myself blocking it all with self-doubt and fear. I rationalised reasons for not trying things, rather than reasons why I should go for (or deal with) it. Interestingly, Nisha warns us to get familiar with such emotions and associated reactions. When you feel them creeping in, learn to recognise the emotions, and check to make sure they’re not emerging in response to something which needs to be managed or overcome (fear, doubt, guilt, anxiety etc.).
By being able to recognise these signs, Nisha explains, we can learn to not let blocks stop us from “playing bigger”. Sometimes your default emotion(s) will prevent you from taking the next − possibly daunting, but potentially game-changing − step forward in life, love or career.
How to get through your own road-blocks? Nisha suggests we need to reconnect with what she calls “your North Star”, a combination of “WHY for you and WHY for the world.” That is, “Your ‘why for the world’ is what really inspires you and calls you into action (e.g. better education for all children, animal rights), and the ‘why for you’ is what personally inspires and calls you into action (e.g. do you long to write, create, nurture…?).”
The best bit about Nisha’s advice is she reminds us to stop trying to work it all out alone. Instead, touch base with friends and mentors who can quite often and easily help you move through confusion or worry, and remind you of what your strengths are, and what life adjustments are likely to complement you as an individual. “Develop your sisterhood, seek advice, share openly (the good and the bad), ask for assistance; help each other,” Nisha says.
What better moment than Christmastime to round up the girls for a brainstorm and heart-to-heart!
Soon it will be a new year, a time generally associated with change and goal setting. The notion of big change might not be where you’re at, or maybe you’re like me and you’ve just reached a particular milestone and presently looking around mystified and thinking, “OMG, what now?!”
An option I’ve embraced is to go back to basics. Slow down, breathe, take baby steps, and reconnect with people (in person, not online). Avoid overwhelm by focussing on just one important thing you need to do each day which will move you closer to “your North Star”. Stop to assess those “default emotions” too, and consider the outcome surrounding your potential next steps. That is, if you were to remove fear, doubt and confusion from the equation, what decision(s) would you really make? Upon reflection, you’ll likely realise, as I have, that you are the one who has kept you playing small. It’s safe in that space, sure, but it’s the only thing stopping you from achieving your “more”.
The interview discussed:
By Sarah Blinco. Originally published in Get it Magazine, December 2014
I love media, more than most – it’s my life! But, I’ve never understood the obsession with doing anything to get the story or choosing to report the negative rather than the positive. Spend any time in the UK and you’ll see this is particularly prevalent – the meaner the headline, the more negative or nasty the story, the better. It’s certainly not much different anywhere else in the world. But why? Is it really human nature to want to bring people down this much? Some would argue yes, that’s what sells papers, therefore that’s why journalists are taught and encouraged to angle a story this way.
Why does media focus on the negative?
Case in point, I was lucky enough to attend Taylor Swift’s sensational show at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on Saturday night, with 40,000 other revellers. She was just gorgeous, and the production excellent. I understand why this young artist is selling out stadiums around the world. If you can look up to someone who is younger than you, then I definitely look up to her. She’s nice, confident without being arrogant, and she writes beautiful music. It was also lovely to see that talent which is non-offensive, naked and twerking its way around the world is appreciated on a great scale by an audience of all ages. For a moment in the show, there was a bit of a malfunction, which did impact on a few attendees at the front. The majority of the massive crowd had no idea, and as the crew fixed up what turned out to be a damaged elevated stage, Taylor came out and amused the crowd for a few moments. Anyone severely put out evidently had their money refunded. In any case, these things happen, and it was rectified swiftly (pun intended) and efficiently. However, next evening on the news, channel 9 in Australia didn’t report on the wonderful show, or the excited crowd, or the brilliant performer behind it all – instead they produced a full segment on the “dramatic chaos” that unfolded, and even went to the bother of tracking down one of the very few audience members who needed to be moved. Why would they choose for this to be the focus of the story when in reality, thousands of people gained so much enjoyment from the evening? A song Taylor sang during the Red concert was Mean from her last album, and I have to say, I reckon it’s applicable to this news piece. The reason I’m blogging about it is because I noticed other attendees saw this TV news piece and commented on social media, agreeing with my own sentiments recorded here.
This is one timely example relevant to my world, but it happens by the minute across all news outlets. Why does media focus on the negative? I would like to suggest though, that there is a vast audience who isn’t interested in this negative angle anymore, and I think this point is proven by the popularity blogs, websites, and magazines like Psychologies or Mind Food which present positive, useful, informative and helpful features and news. Perhaps it is also proven by the falling sales of newspapers and declining TV news ratings? We don’t all want to hear about the “chaos”, “dramatic event” or “disaster” that probably didn’t even happen in the first place. And if you’re going to report it, perhaps this doesn’t need to be 100% of the story – maybe, just maybe, you could report on one aspect that an audience would smile at or be happy about. If nothing else, it would help change the world’s mindset that generally the daily news is bad or depressing, as (within reason, obviously) I don’t believe it is or has to be.
What are your thoughts? Why does media focus on the negative? Do you enjoy that aspect, or could you do without it within every news story (particularly those where this needn’t be the angle)? Join the conversation on FACEBOOK or TWITTER.
There’s something in the air lately. It’s making me really happy. Even the stinky garbage truck in front of me at the traffic lights this morning couldn’t ruin my mood. I’m putting it down to a smell − not the garbage truck − but the weather. When I wake up in the morning there’s something about the smell in the air that’s putting me in a great mood right off. Of course, by Thursday I, like most, am not super keen to get up out of bed, but in the end, how can I resist such beautiful weather − sunshine streaming in, the promise of a new day, and that lovely smell which I can’t put my finger on. Maybe it’s flowers or just something in the wind. Either way, it reminds me of various times in my life when I’ve had a lot of fun. Interesting that scents can do that, isn’t it?
Whatever sweetness I’m detecting in the air, it’s linked to the memory of good times, and I think that’s what’s setting off my good mood. I feel like I’m in − as they say − the flow. I’ve even adopted a theme song (just like Ally McBeal did!), Katy Perry’s Roar. My neighbours must be so sick of that track by now (and probably even more tired of having to put up with me belting it out … very un-Katy like). But how good is the song? It reminds me to put all issues, challenges, negative people and hardships to the side and to remember the things I’ve overcome. “Sing like no-one’s listening,” as they say; don’t mind if I do!
Yummy smells in the air and my very own theme song − I really am turning into Ally McBeal! Wonder if someone will give me a TV show?
Here’s hoping you’re in the flow today too. And do tell me, what’s your theme song? If you don’t have one and want to share mine, I’m ok with that :-)
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Case in point, I was lucky enough to attend Taylor Swift’s sensational show at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane on Saturday night, with 40,000 other revellers. She was just gorgeous, and the production excellent. I understand why this young artist is selling out stadiums around the world. If you can look up to someone who is younger than you, then I definitely look up to her. She’s nice, confident without being arrogant, and she writes beautiful music. It was also lovely to see that talent which is non-offensive, naked and twerking its way around the world is appreciated on a great scale by an audience of all ages. For a moment in the show, there was a bit of a malfunction, which did impact on a few attendees at the front. The majority of the massive crowd had no idea, and as the crew fixed up what turned out to be a damaged elevated stage, Taylor came out and amused the crowd for a few moments. Anyone severely put out evidently had their money refunded. In any case, these things happen, and it was rectified swiftly (pun intended) and efficiently. However, next evening on the news, channel 9 in Australia didn’t report on the wonderful show, or the excited crowd, or the brilliant performer behind it all – instead they produced a full segment on the “dramatic chaos” that unfolded, and even went to the bother of tracking down one of the very few audience members who needed to be moved. Why would they choose for this to be the focus of the story when in reality, thousands of people gained so much enjoyment from the evening? A song Taylor sang during the Red concert was Mean from her last album, and I have to say, I reckon it’s applicable to this news piece. The reason I’m blogging about it is because I noticed other attendees saw this TV news piece and commented on social media, agreeing with my own sentiments recorded here.
