Does your child talk to you? I mean really talk to you, about important topics like boys, girls, alcohol, drugs and the one that starts with S (sex).
When children reach that delicate period known as puberty, it can be a confusing time for both parent and child. Children begin noticing changes in their body, mood swings and not to mention those raging hormones.
For some parents it’s that overwhelming feeling of frustration and helplessness when you try to offer guidance and your child rejects you and disconnects the lines of communication.
Most adolescents are under a lot of pressure, both academically and socially, while also discovering who they are and where they fit into a society that is forever changing. It is possible to be a part of this journey and maintain a strong relationship with your child.
How to get your teen to talk to you? – communication is key.
“Communication is the key to developing positive relationships” –Kath Bunney (student services professional)
How to get your teen to talk to you
1. Listen – Actively listen. Stop what you’re doing and listen. Show them that their thoughts, ideas and feelings matter and their concerns are being heard.
Listening is the best way to find out what your teen knows or needs. Just listen and then say, ‘Would you like advice?’
2. Don’t lecture – when adults yell, exaggerate, get frustrated, roll their eyes, sigh, it turns teens off and they stopped listening. As a result, the relationship suffers.
3. Take a breath before speaking; smile, look friendly and set a positive tone. Keep the conversation happy and upbeat.
Happy conversations are more likely when you’re both in a cheerful mood. The conversation will decline quickly if either one of you is upset. Never demand they tell you their problems or what is bothering them.
Friendliness gets the point across quicker than sarcasm, scolding or a lecture.
4. Distraction – Before you ask too many questions offer them a snack.
Let’s be honest, how many a good conversation is had over food?
5. If you’re hoping to make a point keep the conversation short, simple and to the point.
Timing can play an important role in how the conversation goes. Choose short sentences over paragraphs.
You’re the parent, you know you have life experience; you don’t need to flaunt it and waffle on.
6. Don’t be afraid to ask open-ended questions to encourage them to open up. Allow for their point of view.
Teens are at a stage of their life where they feel they know more than you do. Okay, they might know more about pop culture and technology but it isn’t the whole story.
7. Understand how your child likes to communicate. Driving in the car, cooking dinner, kicking the footy, waking the dog or in a quiet place with no distractions can be a successful way to get little bits of information from your child.
I can remember many a conversation with my mum on the way to school.
8. Look at yourself. How strongly you feel about certain topics such as teens engaging in sex, and using drugs and alcohol may prevent your child opening up to you.
If your child already knows what you’ll say about this topic why would they bother asking?
9. Be consistent and thank them for opening up to you.
“The importance of listening to your child as they are growing up cannot be underestimated. The listening I am talking about is when you give your child the time and opportunity to share their problems.
It is not necessarily about jumping in to give them the solution; it is about giving them the space to verbalise the myriad of issues that the young person has to grapple with as they move from child, to young person to young adult.
What your son or daughter may be looking for is knowing that they have been heard and understood rather than wanting a ready-made solution to their issues”.
-Paul Campbell (school principal, Australia)
The most important parenting skill is effective communication. Parents need to start early – well ahead of the teen years.
Show your child it’s okay to talk about anything. Don’t wait until your child is in schooland a teenager before you try to work on the relationship.
And of course, if you are struggling with any challenges, consult a local, trusted professional or two for advice – ideal people to talk to include a teacher, principal, child psychologist, school chaplain or counsellor, but do not leave it until things are really bad. Prevention is better than cure.
Do you have a question, concern or comment? Please drop us a line below or on social media to get the conversation going.
We met again this past weekend, in Spain, no less. My fiance would be jealous – lucky he came along this time!
You’re a beautiful event – life-changing, many might say; and making a cameo at one of your spectacular soirees is becoming an annual pilgrimage for me.
“Pilgrimage” is, in fact, the correct word, for our first encounter was when I specifically flew from Australia to meet you in Dublin in 2013.
I ventured to Athenslast year to catch up on all the latest in travel tales and trends. Recently too in Costa Brava, set alongside the spectacular ‘brave coastline’ of Spain, about two hours from Barcelona.
I brought along a couple more TBEX recruits, my aforementioned fiance, Cooper, and our mate, The Hardy Traveller, Amy.
It’s easy to discover what you’re about simply by searching #TBEX on any social stream that counts (and then some).
‘The future of travel media’ is your usual theme, targeting bloggers, new media content creators and creative dreamers seeking experience above any other attachments.
Experience helps each of us learn more about ourselves, and how we can help share a message that might make the world a better place.
TBEX travel blogger conference, an annual get-together, usually hosted in North America as well as in Europe, and this year for the first time in Asia too.
I love that you’re an affordable and unique conference for new media and travel bloggers/writers/content creators, overflowing with learning opportunities in the form of wonderful workshops, networking functions, travel experiences and chic parties that showcase the host destination.
Loving Costa Brava, TBEX 2015
Costa Brava was no exception – an especially cool and pretty little area of Spain, boasting beautiful coastlines, funky bars, mouth-watering cuisine and an array of interesting, welcoming locals.
This spot didn’t let us down, just as Spain’s other Med-facing destinations like Ibiza and Mallorca haven’t 💕
Highlights of our encounter include the opening night party at luxe Santa Cristina Beach, Nathaniel’s Boyle’s engaging presentation on pod-casting and how, “Its moment is now”; and Michael Collins‘ insightful, educational keynote on the future of travel media.
I really do walk away each year on a high; high on information, inspiration and motivation.
TBEX, you are the best of travel, providing a chance to visit new places, party and have fun; but also an opportunity to learn new things, meet inspiring people and be energised about the things that are possible.
Attendees are not just delegates from around the world. We’re a community of like-minded entrepreneurs who are passionate about travel and digital content creation; citizens of the world, all keen to encourage each other to fulfil aspirations to live a beautiful life, rich in experience, and to share this important opportunity with others through words, images, video and multimedia.
If you believe you can, but don’t know where to start – start here, just like I did. It will change your life.
Can’t wait to see you again in Stockholm for TBEX Europe 2016. Click the link for all the content tips we were taught!
TBEX travel blogger conference: the latest for you
Read all the updates and adventures from TBEX in the Czech Republic and watch the video. Hope to see you at the next event!
Want more from the Costa Brava? Here’s just a few of the many lovely posts from fellow TBEXers on Lloret de Mar and surrounding regions in Spain:
I love breathing in London during dawn’s early hours. There’s nothing quite like it, and through sleepiness emerges new, fresh life.
During the wee hours, I could be cruising through any other place in the world; quiet, its citizens (mostly) fast asleep.
London, like New York, Tokyo and the most bustling of stop-overs, is usually such a buzzing busy metropolis; though at this time of day I feel a little like a player tip-toeing softly behind the scenes of a great show’s curtains. It’s early but it’s beautiful. There’s no better opportunity for mindfully indulging.
Being almost-May, there’s a soft blue light glowing across the sky, rather than the oft-pitch black we’d be speeding through at other times of the year. Cooper and I are on our way to TBEX – Costa Brava; Richard Marx’s Hazard plays moodily on the radio and I take this, a rare moment in a car (rather than humming along on public transport) to breathe in such a serene and extraordinary sight as London in her early morning bliss.
Interestingly, The Londonistran a piece on such a state, just as I was simultaneously pondering it – their romantic monochrome image gallery by Matthew Joseph is well worth a browse.
Welcome! We are Sarah + Cooper, Aussie expats living in the UK with our Westie dog, London. We like to inspire on how to travel for longer and to live and work from anywhere. Our most popular content here is about seeing the world with your pet, remote working & digital nomadism, and house + pet sitting. Create a global life of your dreams at any age! Subscribe to find out more :)
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