Whilst keeping in touch with family and friends via social media on an overseas trip recently, I spotted a reoccurring picture with a quote throughout my Facebook news feed, it reads:
“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it”
And while the ‘likes’ were adding up, I thought about how frequently people tolerate being treating poorly by those they care about without speaking up.
Let’s focus on the first line in that statement only. Surely the way somebody treats you is something you can influence or at least have a say in? In fact, I would argue to a point that a person will only treat you in a way that you allow or deem appropriate – and it’s that opinion which I want to emphasise with you.
Has there ever been a time where you have allowed yourself to be:
Spoken to in a derogatory way?
Embarrassed or humiliated by colleagues/family/friends because you were too scared to speak up?
Done something that went against your wishes to keep the peace?
Made to feel guilty due to being spoken to in a passive aggressive tone?
Chances are that you replied with yes for one (if not all) of the above scenarios. This might be due to a number of reasons, all of which are completely personal/confidential to you, however it should always be your priority to be treated in a respectful and honest way.
How can you change how people treat you?
Value yourself – This is about making sure people are treating you and speaking to you with a level of respect at all times, address yourself internally on how you want to be spoken to and treated in ALL situations in life and ensure that you stick to your guns. Remember, you deserve respect and to be treated with it.
Speak up – When your boss/friends/family members are not treating you how you wish, let them know. You don’t need to be rude or nasty in how you do this and it may be understandably uncomfortable/confronting for you to do so, however if someone isn’t aware of what they are doing and you’re keeping quiet about it, you may be contributing to the problem. Simply say ‘When you speak to me/treat me like that it makes me upset/annoyed/embarrassed/frustrated/feel belittled/feel inferior/feel bad etc’…. and end the sentence with ‘I would appreciate it if you didn’t do that anymore/stopped doing it”
Don’t allow people to walk all over you but also remember that you don’t get to walk over anyone either. Respect is a two way street and as my sister always said to me during my teenage years:
“Treat people how you want to be treated yourself”
About the author Megan Luscombe is a professional life and wellness coach at Starting Today Coaching. Melbourne based, Megan assists her clients in making positive transformations in their personal life, relationships and careers. Follow her on Facebook.
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There’s nowhere more central to stay than the lovely Rendezvous Grand Hotel. It’s one of those properties that boasts two critical home-away-from-home elements − homeliness and cosmopolitan style.
Friendly staff were consistently on hand to assist, and this continued throughout my entire stay. They were swift and helpful when I called for assistance to my room because there was an issue with the plug in the bathroom sink not raising so water couldn’t drain, and were equally nice to me when they explained it’s one of those you simply push down so it pops back up. Blonde moment.
I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that each time I exited or entered the hotel I’d receive a happy, “Hello Miss, have a lovely day” − a touch that means that much extra when you’re travelling solo.
It’s true that first impressions count for a lot, and on setting foot inside this upscale hotel I was entirely satisfied that I’d enjoy my stay.
The foyer is elegant with chic mood lighting and comfortable spaces to sit and relax. Lounge 55 features prominently on this level too, and beckons with a tone that tempted me along these lines: “Hey, aren’t you tired from that flight, would you like a yummy vino?”
I was excited to discover my Deluxe King room was on level 17 (of 18) with sweeping views of the city which is equally as pretty day or night. The elevator reception areas on each floor are spacious and emanate class through sleek finishes and pleasing European-style design.
The most important aspect of any hotel are its rooms, of course, and I loved mine. Sliding Japanese style doors lead to the wardrobe space and luxurious bathroom with oversized tub and French Connection toiletries. The bed was supremely comfortable and if you’re like me and fussy about your pillow, there’s a specialised menu available to suit all requirements. Floor to ceiling windows present the city in an alluring way, and when the curtains are drawn back the natural light really showcases all the pleasing elements of the room, including its modern spaces, reading/day chair, work desk, flat screen television and large bathroom.
Further facilities you’ll also love about this place include its gym, pool, spa and sauna; free WiFi, concierge service, business centre, the Straits Cafe which boasts a delicious modern Australian menu, and in-room dining which I can personally vouch for as being the perfect combination of a comforting guilty pleasure and excellent value for money.
The Rendezvous Grand Hotel Adelaide (part of TFE Hotels tfehotels.com) is well priced for its pleasurable amenities and convenient location for business or leisure travellers. I was in the city to attend the Taste Australia showcase and #WordsToGo, presented in and around Victoria Square (close to the popular Adelaide Central Markets), and this property is literally four minutes walk from this precinct.
It also appeared to me to be pretty safe by day and night if you happen to be getting around on foot (which is likely as Adelaide is an easy walking city). Adelaide Convention Centre, Rundle Mall, the cultural boulevard of North Terrace, and popular Gouger and Waymouth Street restaurant precincts are all within walking distance of the hotel. You can also easily explore South Australia’s famous Barossa Valley and McLaren Vale wine regions with a daytrip into the picturesque countryside.
It is easy to get to and from the airport − around ten minutes via car, taxi (approx $20 ride) or chauffeur service.
A lovely friend of mine has asked Cooper and I to MC her wedding next week. So flattering but a bit nerve wrecking.
We’re looking at it as a great opportunity to get back into public speaking and we’ll do our best to make the guests feel happy, proud and jubilant on the big day.
Do you have any tips for us though? It’s our first wedding MC gig so all advice gratefully accepted. Here’s what my research has presented so far:
Tips for a novice wedding MC
When in doubt, keep it simple; additionally, it’s not an MC’s role to jest, entertain, perform or tell a significant story or joke at every turn (although humour is gratefully received if it’s tastefully done and well timed).
It is however, the role of the MC to ‘run’ the wedding reception; to keep things moving along smoothly and on time.
We should indeed know the names (and any tricky pronunciations) of the bridal party and key players like bride and groom’s parents, photographer, DJ/band…
The longest an MC usually speaks is at the beginning of the reception, where it is appropriate to welcome guests, explain any rules, requirements and proceedings for the event, and introduce the wedding party.
An MC should encourage laughter, and gear everything towards the positives of the affair.
An MC should help the guests feel comfortable and manage crowd behaviour if necessary.
What are your experiences MCing important events? Do you have any advice for our first time?
Funny how we can have the same goals month after month, year after year…and yet never feel like we are getting any closer. Or at least we can feel totally frustrated that we can’t achieve something that seems so simple on the face of it.
As leaders (or really busy people), with so much going on in our lives, this overwhelm – and our apparent inability to deal with it well – has become endemic in 21st century western life and is, in itself, often the barrier to moving forward.
Let’s look at what is going on in our brains. The Executive Function in our brain (the pre-frontal cortex – PFC) is the part of our brain that makes us human, that separates us from animals. It is our thinking brain. It would make sense that this is the part of our brain that is used to solve our problems – but in fact, this part of the brain whilst very capable, has many limitations. One limitation is that it can only really work with one complex idea at a time without some loss of processing capacity. As each new idea or aspect of the problem is considered, the brain’s ability to resolve it lessens. The PFC is a linear processor, it has to consider one thing at a time in order to make sense of it.
The part of our brain that holds the real processing power is our Basal Ganglia – or the automated brain. This is where our hardwired neural connections live – our habits – the behaviours and attitudes that our brain has automated due to the attention and repetition we have given them over time. This part of the brain is a non-linear processor and it can connect many ideas at a time in order to solve more complex issues for us.
BUT, the processing that occurs in the Basal Ganglia is non-conscious. In other words we can’t MAKE it work like we can consciously do with the PFC. So how do we make the best use of our brain in order to get what we want, resolve our mental issues, and move forward!
Firstly, there are usually one or all of the following three things that may be preventing your brain from moving forward:
1. You don’t really know what you want (you don’t have clarity around your goals). This sounds so simple, yet can be so difficult to figure out on your own.
2. You don’t know how to get it (you don’t have a well-thought out methodology or strategy). Again, this seems simple, but there are just so many options…..
3. There is something standing in the way (you haven’t figured out the ‘real blockage’). And more often than not, it’s you!
Engaging a coach can really assist. Whether you just need one or two sessions to get the clarity you need to focus, or whether you have developed a number of habitual thinking patterns that are not serving you well (that need to be identified, unravelled and reset), professional coaches are trained to assist you with your thinking, to help you to figure out what is going on and why, and can support you and hold you accountable to making the changes you really want.
What is the value to you of being able to get focused and get moving?
If you think a coaching session or two could assist, we’d love to hear from you to have a chat about what’s possible. Or even better, you may be interested in learning how to do this for yourself, and as a leader or parent – to assist others around you with the clarity of their thinking. Feel free to visit our website to explore some options.
While eating out today can seem crazy complicated with any number of food ideologies believed to make us healthier, from paleo diets to gluten or sugar free, there’s another food philosophy designed to make us better, more socially responsible people.
Popping up all over the place are non-profit cafes and restaurants are not only serving up great food but giving those in need a hand up. So if you’re keen to feed your soul as well as your body, here are a few of these socially minded hotspots to try out.
The rise of not-for-profit cafes and restaurants
Melbourne’s Feast of Merit: Richmond, VIC
Melbourne-based Feast of Merit opened in Richmond in early March this year. Created by not-for-profit organisation YGAP, the concept was inspired by the festive Indian ritual whereby a wealthy member of the community will liquidate all their assets and throw a feast for their community, unifying them. The menu focuses on supporting local, sustainable and seasonal produce with a Middle Eastern influence.
“All profits generated by Feast of Merit will be channelled into YGAP’s youth education projects in developing communities across Africa, Asia and Australia,” says YGAP CEO Elliot Costello. “We are so proud of our outcomes that with Feast of Merit we are hoping to offer a simple way for people to get involved and support our projects while eating great food and having fun with friends.”
Perth’s 1905 – Coffee on Newcastle: Northbridge, WA
This cafe is managed by Workpower, a not-for-profit enterprise which both trains and employs people with a disability or mental illness, thereby giving them skills and confidence to transition into the open workforce. The regular work also offers employees social opportunities, a sense of achievement and for some, a reason to get out of bed in the mornings.
Housed in a redeveloped heritage-listed building built in 1905 (hence the name), the innovative and funky cafe provides cafe food and coffee in the heart of Northbridge. While the cafe was designed to be commercially viable, the focus is far greater than the bottom line, says Workpower CEO, Lee Broomhall (pictured below).
“1905 – Coffee on Newcastle is a social enterprise. It acts as a launch pad for people with mental health issues or disability, equipping them with new skills and greater confidence so they can further their careers in hospitality,” says Lee.
“The customer feedback is great. They feel like they’re contributing by being there. They’re not only having a coffee or breakfast, they’re helping others too. Our food is pretty simple – wraps, quiches, eggs, pancakes – but it’s cooked to a high standard and reasonably priced, so we’re not just trading on the feel-good factor.”
The 40 seat cafe currently has five staff members working alongside five work experience students with disability from Central Institute, working as baristas, kitchen hands and cooks. The cafe also offers free Wi-Fi, and patrons can browse second-hand books for sale as they eat. Cafe 1905 also does catering for local businesses, who are enthusiastic supporters.
Brisbane’s Bleeding Heart: Brisbane, QLD
Similarly in Brisbane, Bleeding Heart cafe is a ‘profit for purpose’ dining and gallery/event space that contributes all profits into charitable and community projects. The space has been running since 2008 as an initiative of the Wise Foundation which offers support to disadvantaged and marginalised individuals.
By creating a social enterprise hub, Bleeding Heart contributes space, training and funding to a variety of social causes and charities.
About the author Gwen O’Toole is an accomplished writer focussing on travel, events management and food and wine. She also published a fiction novel while spending the past eight years as a magazine editor and travelling the globe before launching The Ideas Library, a creative services and event management company. She is regularly featured in a variety of travel and leisure publications and blogs.
There’s certainly a lot of magic in a Hunter Valley romantic getaway, and if you’re in the region in Australia, we’d highly recommend it!
The Hunter Valley offers gorgeous scenery and much indulgence, it’s the perfect weekend away.
Hunter Valley romantic getaway from Sydney
With around 150 top-class wineries matched with numerous restaurants – no wonder it’s a tourist hot-spot.
Located two hours from Sydney, an impromptu trip to Australia’s largest wine region was on the cards just the other weekend, and we were not disappointed.
Hunter Valley romantic getaway: itinerary
11am
Arriving into Pokolbin I didn’t waste any time to get our cellar door hopping on, and the first stop was Kevin Sobels, a family winery with over 150 years of history and tradition.
As you walk along the entrance path there are grapevines blossoming and barrels sitting on the veranda.
Inside has a classic home feel – brightly lit with the sun shining through large church windows.
Awards and family photos line the walls and if you’re lucky you’ll see the resident St Bernard called ‘Archie’ roaming about.
The moment you chat with the team, it’s easy to see their love and dedication for wine-making.
From Merlots, Chardonnays and White Ports, the Sobels have a range of refined and classic wine. My favourite was the Verdelho 2013 – fruity, crisp and great with spicy Asian food.
12pm
Feeling famished, a lunch stop Bistro Molines at Tallavera Grove was in order – got to keep our energy up for our Hunter Valley romantic getaway!
This place took my breath away.
Located on Mount View, it boasts never-ending valley views and does alfresco dining flawlessly. Very romantic!
With its outside hilltop gazebo, you can’t help but feel like you’re in a cute village in France or Tuscany.
The food tops off the whole experience – delicious, tasty and to die for. It takes lunching to a whole new level – from pan-fried quail, stuffed calamari and braised black mussels for entrée to veal wrapped in prosciutto, pork cutlet with parsnip puree and char-grilled spitchcock for main.
It’s a culinary journey I recommend for any rustic French cuisine lover.
3pm
Next stop on the our Hunter Valley romantic getaway ‘vino train’ was Brokenwood and it remains my favourite winery in the Hunter.
Inside is small and cosy and you’re immediately welcomed by the staff who have a witty personality.
Famed for its cricket pitch heritage and its dry table wines of Semillon and Shiraz, Brokenwood not only serves up exquisite wine but great conversation with many laughs.
Here you can experience a range of tours including private room and out of the barrel tastings.
My wine of choice was the 2013 Semillon Hunter Valley – citrus/lemongrass aromas with sweet fruit flavours.
8pm
After a siesta snooze, a trip to Hunter Valley’s finest culinary venue, Circa 1876 restaurant finished off our day escape to the Hunter Valley.
Situated in a stunning cottage dated back to 1876, it’s furnished with antiques and features a cosy lounge area with a fireplace to relax and enjoy a drink before dinner.
The main dining room is beautifully decorated with dim lighting, candle chandeliers and rustic wooden walls and beams.
For a more intimate experience, the restaurant offers three private dining rooms and a dedicated wine room.
Eating here is a memorable (and also expensive) experience serving delicious contemporary dishes matched with an impressive wine list of course.
Hunter Valley Wine and Food festival
A great time to come to the Hunter Valley is in June for Wine and Food month.
Whether for a romantic getaway or trip with friends, it’s a great reason to check out the region, and to experience its unique culture, fine wine and succulent food.
Got any tips of your own on the Hunter Valley? Let us know in the comments
About the author Danielle Muller (@stuffitgotravel) is a Sydney-based travel blogger and communications professional. Follow her travel adventures, stories and recommendations at stuffitgotravelling.com.
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Whilst keeping in touch with family and friends via social media on an overseas trip recently, I spotted a reoccurring picture with a quote throughout my Facebook news feed, it reads:
There’s nowhere more central to stay than the lovely Rendezvous Grand Hotel. It’s one of those properties that boasts two critical home-away-from-home elements − homeliness and cosmopolitan style.
