Looking ahead | Goal setting and personal development

Looking ahead | Goal setting and personal development

Usually I’d get onto this whole goal setting and personal development year-in-review exercise much earlier, but the last part of 2015 has been fraught with distraction and even a little bit of devastation.

It’s New Year’s Eve, however, and so this morning I pulled from my bag a printed, crumpled sheet that I’ve been carrying around for a few weeks – Suzy Greaves’ annual review questions. Suzy is a life coach and editor of one of my very favourite magazines, Psychologies UK, and she’s full of wisdom. Join her mailing list for more at suzygreaves.com.

Rather than emphasising that we choose one big goal and set to work on ‘achieving it’, Suzy reminds me that reflection on what’s gone by, and intentions for the new year are much more important than setting major milestones that we may or may not reach (that’s not to say we shouldn’t strive for our best). I do think this is a healthier exercise, and it’s one that can be done at any time of the year, not just December/January.

On my personal reflection I realised that although this past year has had some major challenges, it’s come with lots of laughs too. Both Cooper and I had the absolute pleasure of spending time with our parents who visited the UK all the way from Australia – that’s very special, and we enjoyed many times where we laughed uncontrollably over shared stories, jokes and London survival strategies (stay to the right on the escalator!!).

And on the family front, we’ve got an aunty, uncle and cousin in Queensland who we offer eternal gratitude to, for loving and caring for our dog (and fur baby) in his golden years. While the end to that story is too difficult to write about still, I’ve been shown tremendous examples of kindness that the only way to repay is to pay forward, and I will.

We’ve got gorgeous family of all generations; true friends where distance and time do not matter; and an abundance of good things in all directions. Gratitude gratitude gratitude. If you care to consider it…

I had a good think about situations that got me down at work and in life, but then realised some proud moments where I made a move to change these for the better. Through my own practices of goal setting and personal development, I know now that I’m happiest and at my best when I can bring light to those who need it most; when I can be creative and travel and inspire the one person who really wants and needs to hear what I have to say at any given point in time. I’m proud that I have encouraged people to get out of their comfort zones and travel. Some have, or are on the way for a visit soon!

The TBEX gathering was a highlight, not only for its ongoing creative, entrepreneurial and fun energy, but because I reconnected with a person I’d previously worked with who will be a life-long friend now. Plus, there’s always Spain – the backdrop of our favourite conference this year. Yep, I could live there one day.

Back to reflection though, an important aspect of my year has been attending other goal setting and personal development workshops and seminars, like Hayhouse’s I Can Do It, as well as Rebecca Campbell and Robyn Silverton’s wonderful Spirited Urban Retreat. I strongly recommend you take advantage of any type of workshop or conference you can get your hands on in 2016 because aside from any helpful, practical tools you can take away from the sessions at such events, it’s the positive energy you’re immersed in that really makes the difference. Spending dedicated time with like-minded people who want to implement positive change (despite wide and varied obstacles) does make a significant impact, and truly worked for me this year. My advice is don’t underestimate it – go with an open mind, ready heart and choose to let a day like this make a difference. I can’t wait to attend Gabrielle Bernstein‘s upcoming workshop in London!

While I’m reasonably good at identifying larger situations in career or life that I need to make changes on, I’m not so good at managing the smaller aspects that can get me down – that is, I consistently fret about not having enough time – for work, friends, phone calls home, blogging, upkeep of this site, social media, networking, travel, downtime… the list goes on. But, my reflection this morning has reminded me that I know that when I intend for there to be time, there is. Daily meditation and being consistent at taking twenty minutes a day to write, going to the gym with Cooper; and weekly yoga and creative outlets are my lifestyle aims for the coming year.

Suzy asks, ‘what is the moral of your story in 2015?’ I think one for me is that just when I think I’ve got it all in hand, something shows up to challenge my understanding and comfortable space. I realise now that life isn’t about getting to a particular point (financial, career, family or otherwise); it’s about the journey, lessons learned, adapting and thriving. I think in the end, it’s about an unapologetic pursuit of happiness and freedom to be yourself (that will obviously mean different things for different people).

One thing I know for sure is that this past year I’ve helped people, and I like it! It might only have been a handful of souls, and in the only ways I know (chatting, writing), but I’ve made a difference, just like others have done for me. One small step at a time – but this year I learned that sending that energy into the world is a far stronger force than pushing out fear (or upset, worry, obsession over all the bad things that are going on). I believe this. I liken it to the adorable film Monsters, Inc when they realised that rather than scaring kids and gathering energy from fear, they did far better by generating the vast reservoir of energy garnered from happiness, laughter and love.

I think if I can look back on the moments of a year or period in time and recognise how I was challenged, how I dealt with it, what I learned and what I could have done differently (or will do in the future), then that’s an achievement for me. That’s success, and living. What do you think?

Goal setting and personal development – in a word

My mate, Madonna Williams, shared a wonderful post this morning, encouraging her friends and yoga clients to consider the one word that they might use to describe the year gone by, and the one they will use for the year ahead.

I’ve chosen ‘allowance‘ for the past year because it represents what I kept coming back to during scary, difficult, upsetting and even exciting times brimming with opportunity. Letting go and allowing – a very big thing for me. Next year I’ll go with ‘abundance‘, because I want to attract more creative endeavours, travel, adventure and even a few more dollars into my world. And dogs, lots and lots of dogs.

What are your descriptive words, or your stories from the year gone by? Drop me a line in the comments.

And if you would like to take a look at Suzy Greaves’ questions, she’s kindly linked them here.

A travel guide to Christmas in Copenhagen

A travel guide to Christmas in Copenhagen

I’ve always been attracted to this place. I think as a child I spotted a romantic photo of the city drenched in snow and have wanted to visit for Christmas in Copenhagen ever since!

Christmas in Copenhagen: getting there

When some cheap airfares from London on Norwegian Air popped up on my radar, I booked it without too much of a second thought. You should keep an eye out as there are often inexpensive airfares to this part of the world, which means you too can make it for Christmas in Copenhagen!

I also love that Aussie, Princess Mary lives in Copenhagen, although ironically she was visiting our home city, the Gold Coast, when we dropped by her home country, Denmark on this visit.

Things to do for Christmas in Copenhagen

We only had a few days in the city, Christmas eve to December 27.

This wasn’t long enough because what I failed to discover pre-flight booking is that a LOT of Copenhagen is closed over the Christmas period. Sadly most of our time was also rain-soaked (alas, not snow-soaked).

We caught up with fellow world-travellers and family, Ryan and Denyka, in the city though, so that did make for a special Christmas in Copenhagen experience!

We feasted by the water at the chic Marriott in the city centre, and while definitely not the cheapest option, we decided to splash out for the special occasion.

Christmas in Copenhagen is a magical experience but plan your activities because a lot is closed for the holiday

Christmas in Copenhagen: all you need to know

  1. Copenhagen is beautiful and clean, but much is closed across the Christmas period. The Christmas markets are very famous, however they are mostly wrapped-up (closed) by December 23.
  2. The City Sightseeing hop-on-hop-off buses do run across the festive period, and offer an easy way to get your bearings across the different parts of town.That way, you can choose where you want to go back to and explore. Some tickets are good for 48 hours too. Many of these tours offer a Carlsberg Brewery experience but sadly this is not on offer all the time (boo hoo) so check the website or with a tour adviser in the city for options. Carlsberg is mostly known as a premium and tasty beer range, and the brewery was founded in Copenhagen in 1847, so plays a cool role in this colourful city’s history.
  3. I’ll be honest, the city is expensive. More expensive than London and Sydney! So, plan your trip accordingly and my lesson is that cheap airfares do not necessarily equal an economical holiday (we found it was quite the opposite, in fact).That said, there are some excellent accommodation deals to be found on Airbnb.
  4. Public transport is easy and efficient enough, but we discovered Uber offers competitive deals for getting around, so sign up on the app before you leave home.If you are staying in the city’s heart however, Copenhagen is pretty easy to navigate on foot.

Tivoli is a magical Christmas in Copenhagen experience not to be missed

‘Hygge’ and a cosy Christmas in Copenhagen

Before heading over to Denmark from the UK and as winter approached in the northern hemisphere, we began to read a lot about a heart-warming Danish concept called ‘hygge’.

Recorded as being one of the happiest places in the world despite long, cold, dark winters, it seems some of us have a lot to learn about taking good, cosy care of ourselves and loved-ones in the colder months.

We did indeed feel the warmth, despite the chill.

Sitting by the fire on a cold night, wearing a woolly jumper, while drinking mulled wine and stroking a dog – probably surrounded by candles. That’s definitely ‘hygge’.

Read more about it Hygge, especially if you plan to spend Christmas in Copenhagen.

 

Christmas in Copenhagen – Tivoli is the highlight!

Copenhagen, Denmark

The Copenhagen treasure that was open – in a dazzling display of lights, cheer and romanticism, was Tivoli Gardens.

This is my new favourite international Christmas experience, scraping by my other fairy-light-showered fave, Capilano Canyon Lights in Vancouver.

Tivoli is situated right in the middle of the city, opposite Copenhagen Central train station, and it’s the second-oldest amusement park in the world (after Dyrehavsbakken in nearby Klampenborg), opened in August 1843.

Perhaps the term ‘Tivoli’ sounds familiar to you, and it does have historical roots. According to Wikipedia:

The amusement park was first called ‘Tivoli & Vauxhall’; ‘Tivoli’ alluding to the Jardin de Tivoli in Paris (which in turn had been named from Tivoli near Rome, Italy),’Vauxhall’ alluding to the Vauxhall Gardens in London. It is also mentioned in various books, like Number the Stars by Lois Lowry.

The park was just the right size to wander around, and features fun, contemporary rides, but hasn’t lost any of its old-world fairground charm.

In fact, here you’ll find one of the oldest wooden roller coasters in the world (1914), and one of only seven remaining on Earth that is still operated by a brake man.

With spectacular light shows, markets, every building and structure lit up in festive glory, eateries, rides and parades, this is an experience everyone in our little travel group now highly recommends.

If you can’t be at ‘home’ for Christmas, then this is the way to do it!

Christmas in Copenhagen Little Mermaid travellivelearn

Returning for Christmas in Copenhagen…

There’s so much we didn’t get to do on our short visit to this part of the world, and the city itself is brimming with extraordinary spaces, quaint buildings steeped in history, lovely parks and waterways.

I was struck by the interesting statues and sculptures too, some of my favourites being the glorious angel statue on the World War 1 maritime monument, and not too far from this but on the water (waiting by the shore for her prince), the very famous Little Mermaid, who celebrated her 100th birthday in 2013.

There’s plenty to go back to in this clean and inviting city, but the one thing I wish I had known about sooner so I could have planned the train trip (around 45 minutes from Copenhagen central), is Kronborg Castle, home of Hamlet!

This is Denmark’s most famous and striking castle, and it was immortalised by Shakespeare in the 1600s. Add it to your list if you’re interested in this kind of history too.


Have you been? We’d love to know your tips and experience – drop us a line in the comments below.

 

How to get out of your own way

How to get out of your own way

Are you blocking yourself from playing bigger?

Have you ever considered what your “default emotion” is? I’d not heard the term before, nor had I even placed any thought on the matter, until I came across an interview with Nisha Moodley, a women’s leadership coach. She says we each have default emotions − some people get sad easily, or angry or confused; often this is a way of escaping the discomfort of what we are facing, whether it be a conflict, fear of change or moving forward.

We’re all up to big things these days. We have big ideas on what we want to create for our families, businesses and lives. While I believe anything is possible, that large void of potential can be scary at times.

Those who know me understand I’m often doing crazy things, making wild manoeuvres away from my perfectly-fine comfort zone. I do wish I could sit still, but my mind − like yours − conjures big things, and I find myself making significant changes every few years in an attempt to pursue these ideas, hopes and dreams. Those of you who don’t know me personally have probably worked this out about me though, based on what I write and blog about.

I mention it, not to advocate making wild changes, nor to preach that change can be positive. I bring it up, because I know first-hand that while change more often than not leads to something amazing, it can be tough. Whether it’s self-imposed or change that has been thrust upon you, it requires time, perseverance and sometimes, a lot of deep breaths to move through, until you get to that place where you realise you’ve made it, and you smile.

So, “default emotions”. They usually run rampant when we’re in a period of flux. Mine were at play recently when things were spinning around; change and choices flying at me swiftly. I could feel myself blocking it all with self-doubt and fear. I rationalised reasons for not trying things, rather than reasons why I should go for (or deal with) it. Interestingly, Nisha warns us to get familiar with such emotions and associated reactions. When you feel them creeping in, learn to recognise the emotions, and check to make sure they’re not emerging in response to something which needs to be managed or overcome (fear, doubt, guilt, anxiety etc.).

By being able to recognise these signs, Nisha explains, we can learn to not let blocks stop us from “playing bigger”. Sometimes your default emotion(s) will prevent you from taking the next − possibly daunting, but potentially game-changing − step forward in life, love or career.

How to get through your own road-blocks? Nisha suggests we need to reconnect with what she calls “your North Star”, a combination of “WHY for you and WHY for the world.” That is, “Your ‘why for the world’ is what really inspires you and calls you into action (e.g. better education for all children, animal rights), and the ‘why for you’ is what personally inspires and calls you into action (e.g. do you long to write, create, nurture…?).”

The best bit about Nisha’s advice is she reminds us to stop trying to work it all out alone. Instead, touch base with friends and mentors who can quite often and easily help you move through confusion or worry, and remind you of what your strengths are, and what life adjustments are likely to complement you as an individual. “Develop your sisterhood, seek advice, share openly (the good and the bad), ask for assistance; help each other,” Nisha says.

What better moment than Christmastime to round up the girls for a brainstorm and heart-to-heart!

Soon it will be a new year, a time generally associated with change and goal setting. The notion of big change might not be where you’re at, or maybe you’re like me and you’ve just reached a particular milestone and presently looking around mystified and thinking, “OMG, what now?!”

An option I’ve embraced is to go back to basics. Slow down, breathe, take baby steps, and reconnect with people (in person, not online). Avoid overwhelm by focussing on just one important thing you need to do each day which will move you closer to “your North Star”. Stop to assess those “default emotions” too, and consider the outcome surrounding your potential next steps. That is, if you were to remove fear, doubt and confusion from the equation, what decision(s) would you really make? Upon reflection, you’ll likely realise, as I have, that you are the one who has kept you playing small. It’s safe in that space, sure, but it’s the only thing stopping you from achieving your “more”.

The interview discussed:

By Sarah Blinco. Originally published in Get it Magazine, December 2014