Tantrum to terrific – what to do when life doesn’t go to plan

Tantrum to terrific – what to do when life doesn’t go to plan

Hands up if you’ve ever been delayed in transit or had your daily plan thrown out by something silly like a traffic jam, and you’ve ended up, well, super annoyed? Yep, me too. Unexpected changes to my plans have often meant major tantrums and freak outs. Recently I had an epiphany on this front though, which has pleasantly changed how I perceive time I once would have deemed ‘lost’. Surprisingly, it all started at a crowded railway station, one drizzly Wednesday morning…

I was on a work trip in a capital city and relying on public transport to get me from A to B. That bit wasn’t so bad, as I was conveniently staying above a transit centre. On the morning of an important meeting, I turned up to discover major delays and an up to 40 minute wait. Brilliant! I started to panic – I’d only just arrive in time, if that.

Feeling flustered, pacing the platform as if that might miraculously manifest my ride, I considered the options. I could race to the station up the road to see if they had fewer issues (doubtful). Ed Sheeran could drown out my worries with his sublime voice (nah, feeling too impatient for music). Alternatively, Wi-Fi was on offer. I could press play on a lengthy podcast I’d hoped to listen to over breakfast.

I switched the webcast on, only to discover that what I had planned to listen to merely for general interest’s sake, turned out to be a half hour of motivating messages I needed to hear, now. The presenter even shared practical advice which I benefitted from in meetings that very day. I barely noticed the time fly by because I was so engaged. In fact, when a notification appeared overhead revealing there was a further five minute delay, I was happy that I’d be able to listen to the end. I really did feel like a cheeky Universal intervention had actually ‘given’ me the time to listen, because it was important that I did so.

When life doesn't go to planTo be sure, the “best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry”, so why do we all too often default to stress and impatience when something doesn’t go our way? For me, it usually takes a lot of will power not to be dirty when my schedule is knocked out of play. I’ve always been a planner, early with deadlines and to meetings. Going with the flow – allowing – is something I’ve had to learn and practice.

Gwyneth Paltrow starred in a film called Sliding Doors – maybe you remember it? One of the themes the movie explores is what happens when life doesn’t go to plan, like when you miss your train (or find your partner is cheating on you!). Therapist, Joleen Watson, comments on her website, “The movie [Sliding Doors] teaches that we can’t control the outcome – we can only control our actions and the choices we make in life. And we can continue to trust the process that there is something we are supposed to learn through the process of letting go.”

My moment on the train platform made me think of that film. I was rather chuffed to realise that being stuck wasn’t a waste of time, but indeed, a gift of time.

Whether it’s your taxi turning up late, or missing out on a job you thought you wanted, life happens, and it’s beyond our control. Last week I read that the presence of fear (which can be the root of many feelings including anxiety, worry, stress, jealousy, sadness, panic) is a sign that you are trusting in your own strength, rather than leaning on a power greater than you. In other words, sometimes we have to let go of the schedule or plan, and have a little faith it will all work out in the end (even if it’s not the way originally imagined).

Aim to succeed, of course, just like I’d planned to catch the 8.07am train that morning back in April. But, when circumstances mean you have to change tack, if all else fails, try surrendering the worry. Give yourself a break next time you’re delayed or diverted, and consider what else you could take away from the moment instead.

A little timeless advice from Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), worth pondering next time your plans are thrown off course:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

 

By Sarah Blinco. Originally published, Get it Magazine, May 2015

The importance of fostering positive teacher-student relationships

kidsWho was your favourite teacher growing up and what do you remember most about them? I’m confident most of you would describe how they made you feel and the sense of excitement and the confidence you felt on your road to discovery.

The function of a teacher is both diverse and meaningful. Teachers have a greater responsibility than simply standing in front of a class delivering material. It is now mandatory for them to teach social values and etiquette, mediate conflicts and most importantly develop positive-teacher student relationships.

A child’s academic and social development hinges on a teacher’s capacity to develop a positive and long lasting relationship. Students who have a healthy relationship with their teacher are more likely to achieve gains or experience success when they feel valued and respected than students who don’t have a personnel connection to the teacher. A student is more likely to show more engagement in an academic setting and display less disruptive behaviour when they experience regular communication, praise and guidance from their teacher. Positive teacher-student relationships promotes their desire to learn.

Canter and Canter (1997) make the statement that we all can recall classes in which we did not try very hard because we didn’t like our teachers. This should remind us how important it is to have strong, positive relationships with our students.

Imagine for a moment. You have a boss who makes you feel valued, respected and appreciates you as an individual. Are you more likely please your boss? How would you then feel if your boss didn’t value you as a person and lacked respect for you? This is how a child feels. That’s is why it’s critical to develop a positive supportive classroom environment. It’s important to remember, students are more willing to want to please you and behave appropriately when they are treated with respect and appreciated.

What to do │ fostering positive teacher-student relationships

  • Be patient, engage in conversation and actively listen
  • Get to know each child, the lives they live and learn about their interests and needs
  • Spend time with them individuality and seek out the those who are reluctant or problematic
  • Show students you want them to be successful through words and actions
  • Create a positive environment and enhance relationships among peers

What not to do  │  fostering positive teacher-student relationships

  • Accept that treating a child with respect and being nice is enough. Teachers set high standards for their students and encourage opportunities for students to make a personal connection with their teachers and their peers.
  • Don’t admit defeat too quickly in your efforts to develop a positive teacher-student relationship.

Rita Pierson states, “It’s hard to learn if you don’t feel connected. Which means that kids don’t just need a teacher, they need a champion, someone who believes in them, invests in them, nurtures in them the belief that they can be more than they are, that all kinds of things they don’t imagine are possible”.

By Cooper Dawson
How to find the time to follow your heart

How to find the time to follow your heart

Cooper and I were chatting this morning about how to make time for personal endeavours; that is, how do you find the time to follow your heart? You see, I’m a little more adept at juggling a lot of things because I’ve been forced into being organised through running my own business, and doing absolutely everything as a sole trader. While I am working full time now in a gig I love, I haven’t lost the habit of always ‘doing something’ (although, I think that’s a personality type too – perhaps you relate!). Plus, I’ve got stories to share and messages to promote – hence TLL.

I know plenty of people who want to design a slightly different life for themselves, or pursue other passions entirely aside from their current work situation. But it’s really challenging, with family commitments, work, life and that irritating nemesis, tiredness!

The conversation got me thinking about what advice I’d give to Cooper, or anyone else struggling with an already packed program when it comes to work/life balance. I’ve learned a thing or two on my own, but also through observing others – including super busy mums – who have successfully created a life and/or business they love.

Have a listen…

Key take-aways

How to find the time to follow your heart:

  • Set time aside each morning – just 20 minutes is all you need. If that means you have to get up early (short-term pain for long-term gain), then do it. Start now.
  • I live by my mornings now, and strongly suggest you spend the first 5 to 10 minutes of yours in contemplation about the day to come, and how great it’s going to be.
  • Spend another 10 minutes or so in inspired action towards your ultimate goal. Write/blog/mind-map/watch a motivating YouTube clip. Start the day off on a positive note.
  • Keep a notebook (or equivalence) with you to jot down goals, ideas, dreams, plans, gratitude lists and things you want – do this throughout the day! Not only will this exercise attract better things into your world, it’ll cheer you up in the process.
  • Do one small thing towards your goal/dream/big idea every day. No action is too small.
  • Keep an eye out for opportunities to learn, in the form of webinars and free online activities that will only take up an hour or so of your time each week. Subscribe to your favourite service-providers or coaches’ email alerts.
  • Utilise YouTube – set up your very own motivation playlist, and save clips in there that you can access at any given time, day or night. Clips might include TED Talks, motivational monologues, 10 minute mindfulness meditations, videos by business or spiritual coaches… Whatever gets you going.
  • Reflect before sleep, on the day that’s been. Be proud of your actions and set an intention to keep moving forward tomorrow.

 

By Sarah Blinco │ Feature image, Inspiyr.com, Flickr creative commons
Honouring the value of sweet serendipity

Honouring the value of sweet serendipity

What does serendipity mean to you? In my world, it’s about more than coincidence; it’s when things – people, places, scenarios – come back around, and become significant. It is about when you knew there was something there all along, but it’s not until years later that you’re proven right.

Life is full of great surprises, and these types are some of the nicest. Here’s a quick story about how my mate, Amy (the Hardy Traveller), and I, recently ‘got to know’ each other – years after we initially met.

 

What’s Amy say about it?

“I started my blog blindly in September 2014 (she is still a baby) with nothing but passion, enthusiasm and a hunger to learn. I’ve succeeded with very little media experience behind me. Through Facebook, I was in contact with an old ‘colleague’ also in the industry. She kindly fed me her wisdom, and through various discussions we realised we had a lot more in common than merely travelling and blogging. Sarah told me about TBEX Costa Brava, and I realise as I’m writing this that it seems weird to suddenly go away on a trip with an ex-colleague, whom I’d worked with briefly many years ago and we’d never socialised! But I jumped at the chance, and so pleased I did.

Happily ever after, we now have a good solid friendship! And that’s just the icing on the cake; TBEX has left me with friendships across the globe, a bucket load of new information and ideas, contacts and a ridiculous amount of opportunities to work with people I respect and admire. The seminars were top notch; those alone have given me so many open-doors for the future, but the real life-changer for me came from just hanging out with really interesting, inspiring, encouraging and like-minded people… like Sarah!

Without being totally dramatic, it’s changed my life – there is a lot to look forward to!” -Amy, The Hardy Traveller

All that big life stuff happened because we ended up in the same little office, south of London; just for a short while – me from Australia, Amy from… somewhere else in this big old town! Perhaps we didn’t end up working that job just because it was a way to make money. Imagine if we were meant to meet there, in order to inspire each other further down the line?! We think that’s entirely sweet serendipity, and we hope you agree.

Do you honour serendipitous occasions in your life? If you’ve got a story, do share – drop us a line in the comments below.

Want a free digital media download for your business?

Super easy eBook training. Could social media be working better for you?

Super Easy Social Media by Sarah Blinco

Work smarter not harder. Learn how in just one day. It’s super easy!

Super Easy Social Media by Sarah Blinco

You’ve told me that you want to know how to produce great content in the shortest amount of time. I know you want to increase business leads and engagement on social media. I agree you can make this happen, so I have simplified all you need to know into 5 easy, actionable steps.

You’ll be interested in this eTraining if:

  • You are a busy business owner, manager or marketing manager who wants the ultimate super easy social media cheat sheet which will enable you to streamline content, business promotion, engagement and measure social success in just an hour a week.
  • You are a student or work-at-home parent who thinks you’ve got what it takes to make money managing social media accounts (perhaps it’s your friend’s or a family member’s business page); but you just need a bit of training on how to do it all really well in a professional context.
  • You are a blogger or sole trader needing that one extra special ingredient that will boost your social media branding beyond where it’s stuck at right now.

You CAN master producing efficient, original and engaging digital media content for effective business branding in less than a day.

It’s super easy … click here now to find out how, and score a free download for your business! 

-Sarah Blinco
Media mentor and digital influencer